Larry Potter: He used to have a strong resemblance to Harry Potter when he was little, probably because he has dark hair and has been wearing glasses since he was 18 months old. He's in 5th grade and can argue like a college freshman, minus the alcohol. Depending on how you look at things, he either got all the best or all the worst qualities of me and my husband. He's now a 'tween and we recently had to negotiate his wearing deodorant in exchange for him being able to watch the Big Bang Theory. His sport of choice is the great and powerful Spelling Bee (he's the regional champ) and is looking forward to next year when he can compete for the Scripp's Bee. He wants to be a chemist and go to the University of Alabama at Huntsville, so he can work at Space Camp during the summer. Also known as LP.
Hoover: Part-second-grader, part-bottomless food pit. Has his father's metabolism and will probably be able to count his ribs well into adulthood. He is cuddly but sneaky and can fix just about anything with a screwdriver. He's definitely his own person. Hoover once told me to cancel his next birthday because he doesn't want to get older and grow up. His feet are now bigger than LP's and we're thinking by next year, he will be taller than his older brother. He is mischievous and has a bad temper, but calms down quickly and can be very endearing. He looks like my mother, makes the same faces as her, and it freaks me out.
Mini-Me: I don't know if it's because she's the baby, she's the only girl, or the only (besides me) with red hair, but she's 43" of total 'tude. Mini-Me is five and think the world revolves around her - which is pretty much my interpretation of myself. Is literally the most stubborn person I've ever met, and has a wicked case of separation anxiety. She also has a dark, cynical streak that I can only imagine came from me. Also known as MM.
Disgruntled Husband: My parenting partner-in-crime for almost 11 years. He's underpaid but over-enthusiastic, in a good way. He can't hang a picture straight, but can draft a will and argue in court. Generally good natured but jokingly angry. Kids can't tell the difference yet. He has a plethora of really funny stories that I can't tell unless I ban him from the blog, which I probably shouldn't do. Is our town's Municipal Judge, which pretty much means that he actually has to practice good judgement now. He's from Iowa, which explains a lot. Also known as DH.
Clark and Mo: Our cats. Real names. Mo is the least favorite cat in all of Wisconsin and Clark is our younger, dumber feline. He's named after the main character in the greatest movie ever. Send all tuna samples addressed to them.
And some regular friends!
JDub: We knew each other in passing, but didn't really meet until she backed her shiny SUV into the hillbilly-esque Not So Mini Van. She has three kids like me, but the inverse of mine. She's super Catholic and has a problem saying "no" to everyone, except her husband Vitamin P. Daily chats include tales of her culinary aptitude and her telling her dog that he's an asshole.
Even Snarkier Mom: My friend since junior high, now lives in Texas with her husband and baby daughters C and L. She's about the only person I know that could be even meaner and more cavalier than I am, but in a good way. We have such a history together, we each had to sign contracts stating we would not write the tell-all novel about each other. Also known as ESM.