What I'm Thankful For

My family and I are heading to Illinois this afternoon to start the dance of the antacids, otherwise known as two Thanksgivings. My brother and I convinced my mom to hold hers tonight (because he is newly engaged and between him and his betrothed, they have FOUR Thanksgivings to attend), and then we're off to my dad's house, where there will be 25 people and five dogs, and only enough sleeping accommodations for 15. (It's going to be Survivor: Thanksgiving for a place to sleep.)

I shouldn't be writing a post right now. I have more laundry to do, packing, cleaning, general yelling at these three small people that insist on making a mess in whatever room I've just left, and even a little cooking. But I'm writing because I have a lot to be thankful for, and also, because I want to put off that list for as long as possible.

Thankfulness is a lot like Pumpkin Spice lattes: you know you like them, but generally forget about them until Starbucks brings them out...and just as quickly as it came, it leaves, and no one talks about it for another 11 months or so.

But the thing is, thankfulness shouldn't be trendy. It's Thanksgiving, and I get it. You give thanks for what you have; after all, there's a freaking designated holiday for it! But what about in February, are you still not thankful? What about in July? I think we are always thankful for what we have, but it takes the month of November to remind us. (And dear Lord, if we had those "I'm thankful" posts every day of the year, I'd probably quit Facebook.)

(Not that I don't agree with the idea, but I can only read so much about clothes and food and places to live before I start crying like I do when Sarah McLaughlin comes on TV with a dog.)

And before you start wagging fingers and whispering, of course I'm thankful for the biggies in my life: kids, Disgruntled Husband, food, clothes, etc. I could write a novel about how thankful I am for the biggies; a boring, non-funny novel no one would buy because its all about what I'm thankful for and have nothing of value for any readers.

So, I bring you...

The List of Small, Insignificant Things I'm Thankful For, You Know, Besides the Obvious Ones

My Keurig-- Without it, my life would be way less productive. And I'd probably end up starring in an episode of Snapped. I drink exactly one cup a day, and my kids know that if they bother me before this cup, the answer to any question will be "No. Leave me alone. Go wake up your father." And, I'm secondarily thankful for the ease of the Keurig: fill with water, turn on, throw a K-Cup in, and brew. How much lazier could it get? (Though I'm totally on board with my dad, who wants to figure out a way to run a water line to it, so he doesn't have to fill it all the time. Apple, meet your tree.)

Modern Medicine--Without it, I would have surely died in childbirth. And if I didn't die, Larry Potter would be an only child. I am still thankful every day for my epidurals, because no matter what you hear, YOU DON'T FORGET THE PAIN. I use childbirth to put things like dental work and flesh wounds in perspective. You know that pain chart at the hospital? Unless you've given birth, don't you dare even think about telling anyone you're pain is at a 10. I had a ten pound baby, the old fashion way. If that was a 10, everything else in life is no more than a 6.

It's also through modern medicine that makes my life as constant as it is. Two years ago when Hoover fell and had to get 24 stitches in his forehead (6 internal, 18 on top of that), it was modern medicine that saved the day. Modern medicine has corrected LP's crossed eyes, my awful bunion/emerging sixth toe, and the tendency for Hoover to destroy everything in his path.

Oh yeah, and wine. I'm also thankful for wine.

Friends That Are Like Family--Most of my friends actually fall into this category. I have a tendency to sink my claws into people and never let go, and it's even better when they come along willingly and don't struggle to get away. I know I've mentioned some of them in the past. People like ESM, JDub, Janie, and Jeanne make me happy and call me out on my shit. My family is pretty cool, but my friends are who I've chosen for myself. DH always complains that I have a ton of friends, and he doesn't have any (which I don't think is true). I'm thankful that I do have a list of people to call at any given time, who most of the time even answer.

My Sense of Humor--Jessica, you have Narcissism on Line One. I love my sense of humor, which is probably why I have it. If I only entertain myself with my thoughts and words, than that's all I have to worry about. There's a line from a song that goes something like "I want to find a girl who can show me what laughter means," and I'm pretty sure that's me. Without my sense of humor, I surely would not have survived my childhood, let alone my venture into marriage and motherhood. When Hoover dumped an entire gallon of milk into the kitty litter because he was "trying to make cereal," it was either cry or laugh. When 2009 hit, and we had about -$8.00 in our checking account, at least I could make myself feel better with funny things I found on the internet. My favorite sound in the world is hearing my dad (whom I surely got this sense of humor from) genuinely laugh at something I say. I'm sick and twisted, and had to teach my kids when it was okay and not okay to end a conversation with "Your Mom," but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Time--It heals all wounds, marches on, stops for no one, and a lot of other awful cliches. Sometimes, it goes to fast...like when I think back on LP's babyhood or yearn for just one day of college back. Other times, it drags on, like a three-hour road trip with my kids fighting with each other. But it always changes things, gives me chances to try new things, or wax nostalgic on things I thought I'd never appreciate. It provides a perspective I couldn't ever achieve otherwise. It's amazing to me that 13 years ago, I was a junior in college, not even knowing DH yet, and 13 from now, MM will be in college and I will be an empty nester. It blows my freaking mind.

My Family-- Yes, it's one of the biggies. I am thankful for my kids and my husband, but I'm also thankful for my parents, who never threw me through a wall when they probably should have. (Being LP's mom and pretty much watching myself as a kid through him now cements that very sentiment.) I am thankful for my little brother, who is about the funniest person I know (besides me) and is the only one that can truly appreciate how we were raised. I am thankful for my step-siblings, who also never threw me through a wall, and who gave me nieces and nephews that I absolutely adore. I am thankful for my cousins, especially Layman, James, and Staci, who prove to me that my genetic make-up really isn't my fault, and who I'd be friends with even if we weren't related.

My Blog Readers--(Cue the Full House "Awww.") You guys are such a shot in the arm for me, you have no idea. I love hearing from you, love that I am sometimes a part of your laundry procrastination, love that I'm not the only one with some really out there and questionable stories about my family. I want to buy each of you a cup of coffee and a donut, but since I can't, next time you have either, raise a cup or cruller up and toast yourself, from me.

Happy Thanksgiving from Mean Jessica. Now go pass the gravy.