Wednesday, September 5, 2012

And you are...?

Hello? (hello.....hello....)

(It's an echo...get it?)

I'm back from my summer vacation. Oh, you didn't know I took a summer vacation?  Because I didn't tell you? And you just thought I got too big (or lazy) for my britches and abandoned you, my dozens of fans?

Yeah, okay. My bad.

In my defense, however, I will point out that RantsFromMommyland also took a summer break, and if they (Mom Blogging Awesomeness in Human Form) can do it, so can I. After all, I had to actually be a parent this summer and, well, in the meantime, have experiences to generate more blog posts for all of you.

And here it is, September 5. My kids went back to school yesterday. All of them. All day long. Which finally makes my dream come true of being a full-time writer. (We're just going to gloss over the fact that I've yet to be paid for said writing, because I don't need my dreams dashed this early in the school year.)

What can you expect from me this year? I'm so glad you asked.

(This is where I'd have a bullet-pointed list of all my blogging shortcomings and how I would fix them, but, as discussed earlier, I am an unpaid blogger.)

My only commitment to all of you is that I am going to post once a week, on Wednesdays, and we'll take it from there.

But to fill you in on what we've been up to, I bring you...

What I did on my summer vacation
by The Snarky Mom

1.) Ran around the month of June like a marathon Meth addict. All of the kids had swimming lessons and tennis, which you think would finally be justification to buy them all Ralph Lauren outfits and Nike visors. Disgruntled Husband put the kabbosh on that. We all did get killer tans though. As tan as a family of freckled people can get, that is.

2.) Hung out with JDub and Crunchy Granola (our friend that is awesome and funny, but also eco-friendly and generally has a kid or two hanging off of her) while our (my) child ran around CG's store, possibly breaking manikins.

3.) Took Hoover and Larry Potter on an epic road trip to Hunstville, Alabama so LP could live out my childhood dream of going to Space Camp. Mini Me stayed with my mom and DH had to stay up in Wisconsin to fund it all. Hoover and I got to spend some quality time together, and went to Atlanta to see his godfather, where we got to go to the infamous Coke Museum and try all the pop from around the world. Sidenote: Hoover is still on a sugar high from Africa.

4.) Watched my mild-mannered daughter go from almost-drowning to Little Mermaid in about 6 weeks, complete with flips off the diving board. She is quite the sight doing a backflip with no fear...and orange water wings.

5.) Decided that the kid's school would be better off without our motley crew and enrolled the kids in the local private school. I'm sure I will expound more on this later. Also, that means I have to go to adult confirmation classes. As my friend said, "Just don't talk and they may let you be confirmed." What I will do for my kid's education.

6.) Heard about the Kidz Bop singing contest pretty much all summer long, because LP wouldn't shut up about it. He kept telling me where he was going to live after he won and which parent would go with him to LA for his recording contract and concert series. He entered the contest last week, singing "Firework" and constantly checks his email for his admission to stardom.

7.) Speaking of LP, he and MM have been at each other's throats since school ended. With five years between them, I keep wondering what on earth they'd have to fight about. Turns out, anything can be subject for a fight. At anytime. One day in August, they both were grounded because they were fighting while I was drinking my coffee. At 7:30 a.m. That's when the countdown to school began.

8.) Because of the fighting and the general boredom around here, I decided to take the kids to see the Whatcha-Talking-About-Willis Tower in Chicago. We rode the train for an hour-and-a-half (from my mom's house) down to the city, walked four blocks, paid $50.50 to go to the top (actual price), where we stayed for all of a half hour. Then walked four blocks back the train station, had lunch, and caught the train back to my mom's house. I'm efficient like that.

9.) Started looking for a job that would require me to use my college degree and possibly, my brain. I'm afforded the luxury of taking my time on this, which is good, because all the jobs in my field are an hour away and are few and far-between. (Live in South Central Wisconsin and need a writer and/or editor? Hire me. You know you want to.)

10.) Lost 47 pounds (okay, since April 4) and have found that, yes, I do happen to enjoy shopping, especially when I can fit into things that don't start with a 2. I'm still going, and hope to be down to my birth weight of 8lbs, 12 oz. by next summer.

And now, to the couch. I have bon-bons to eat and soaps to watch.


  1. Yay! Welcome back! I, too, am thrilled my little monkeys are back in school. Your "fighting before coffee" story reminded me of my own: Bitty was doing her part of unloading the dishwasher, when she decided to wave a cheese knife at her big sister. She wound up cutting her own finger, and I was looking down the barrel of an ER visit before I had had any coffee & whilst still in my jammies! Egads! It didn't wind up being that serious, but for heaven's sake, people!

  2. Ha ha, down to your birth weight! Welcome back!