Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The One Where I Had to Take Down a Post

Well it happened.

I had to take down a post.

And I've been thinking for the past 11 days what to say about doing so. I haven't come up with anything deep or profound, but I do have a rough explanation.

For those that don't remember, I had a post about Mini-Me's experience at school, in the form of a fake letter to her teacher. I write a lot of fake letters; I always have. It's my way of dealing with things beyond my control. I think it started in 7th grade, writing letters to boys that I would never send. Yes, it was embarrassing to read these later, but it would be even more embarrassing to actually send them.

Since I'm a grown-up now and have this blog, sometimes I funnel my fake letters on here so you all can read them and laugh and/or commiserate. I am the center of my own universe and think that I am exponentially funny and clever and therefor, you all must too. (It's a nice little universe I live in.)

When I wrote the fake-letter to MM's teacher, I was annoyed. Oh, I meant every word, don't get me wrong, but I would never actually talk to someone like this. It was a fake letter I wrote to deal with my feelings and entertain all of you (and to some degree, get a little bit of support). And then, my blog and small town seemed to combine.

I heard from someone that my blog had made it to the school. Not that I couldn't have known that anyway...my hit counter was going crazy from an email with my blog linked to it. It wasn't hard to see where it originated.

I felt bad. I mean, come on, I'm not made of stone. I'm human. But I stood by every word. When I was telling my friend Jenny about it (who is a teacher and who is married to a teacher), she gave me one of the greatest pep-talks in the history of pep-talks, ending with, "there are BILLIONS of things on the internet. They don't have to look at your blog. They can look at something else."

She was exactly right, but it was hard to really accept that when I was getting hang-up calls from the school. (I'm still not sure how to process that, but I'm not going to waste too much time on it.)

In the meantime, the hits kept coming from that email. It went small-town viral. It went alumni-of-this-chick-I-know viral. It went cheesehead-university viral.

That's when I knew I had to do something.

The name of the post was "Mountains out of Molehills," about how something small was being blown out of proportion. And the same thing was happening with my blog post. Which wasn't the point of me doing it. I wasn't about to have Joan of Arc throw herself on my blog post in the height of martyrdom. That definitely wasn't the point. Irony is real, folks.

So I took it down. I felt it was my duty to contain the virus.

But I also felt like I owed you all, and myself, a concrete explanation. I'm a big fan of the First Amendment and anti-censorship and all of that. It's most certainly within my rights to write and post what I did.

I still stand behind my fake-letter, as it was just that: fake. I don't actually send things like that to my kids' teachers. But that doesn't mean I don't think it. And I'm not going to apologize for that.

But maybe now the school hang-ups will stop.


  1. I have recently learned a hard lesson about this internet stuff, too. A 5th grader from my kids' school "liked" my blog's Facebook page. Why is a 5th grader reading my blog?? Why does a 5th grader have a Facebook page??? At the same time, my oldest was dealing with some mean girl stuff - totally unrelated to the girl who liked my page - but it made me really think about what I post and who might be reading it!

  2. Odd to me, the "Letter was fake", you "would never actually send the letter or say things like that to people", but you choose to share it with the world wide web, to people who, quite frankly don't need to know about the incident, as they were not involved. In addition, the other half of the situation is not here to defend their side of the story. It's really kind of shady. And, yes....I am a new follower who heard about this ridiculous story through the grape vine, and now can't help but read your blog to make me feel better about myself. I can't believe someone who says they love their life so much can be so depressing and negative in every situation they encounter.....and better yet, then brag about their ability to be mean to people. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with people like you on a regular basis and sad for those that do.

    1. Odd that you would take the time to read the blog, only to trash it while taking a bath in your own anonymous selfrighteousness. Just saying

    2. Hey Anonymous, F you! Last I checked, this was Snarky Mom's blog to vent, share, and do with whatever she pleases...and knowing her the way I do, she's already turning up her nose at the trash you wrote. I'm sure you felt better after writing the garbage that you did, so why criticize her for using her own portal to express her views? It's her kid, not yours, so get over yourself and move along.

  3. I just found your blog and wanted to say hi and saw this post. I'm sorry it went viral and all the midwesterners who act nice on the outside but hate on the inside got gossipy on you. That sucks. I love your "about me" where you talk about Lia Sophia parties and small town life. Hilarious. Subbing/following/etc. I just started a funny-ish mommy-ish blog, too. Check it out sometime.

  4. Dear Anonymous,

    If you feel sorry for people who have to associate with the Snarky Mom, then why did you choose to associate yourself by posting? My name is Dana Spychalla and I happen to know the Snarky Mom personally and I think she's a wonderful person. At least she had the guts to apologize and call herself out on this topic. People who post anonymously are so lame. Why even bother if you're not going to say who you are? Do you realize that by staying anonymous your words have no real meaning or effect? What are you afraid of, anonymous? If you can't say it to someone's face, don't say it at all.

  5. Hey Anonymous (2)-This is right, I did read her blog, however, not to bathe in my own selfrighteousness. As stated, it's quite nice after a bad day(which really doesn't happen often, I just got lucky yesterday), to come home, poor a glass of wine and remind myself how lucky I am to be me and look at the world the way I do.
    Stephanie- That's mature! What does my reply have to do with her kid? I didn't even mention her child, I mentioned the ridiculous situation. Additionally, it is her blog and she can go ahead and remove my comment if she would like, just like she removed her original post.
    Lauren-Unfortunaltey you have pegged me wrong. I am not that small town lia sophia party going mommy. I tell it like it is. You will know how I feel about you right from the start. I don't play those games...obviously.
    Dana- Hi My name is Ashley and I live in a suburb outside of Milwaukee. Let's clarify that she stands by every word she says and DOES NOT appologize for that. But lets also note that instead of just being an adult and going to the teacher/school to indicate how she feels, she chose to be a coward and just post about it online for millions to see. REALLY? How much can THOSE words really mean. She sure didn't say those things to that teacher's face, as in her words "I would never actually talk to someone like that". Well guess what, I will, I will absolutely call you out when you are wrong! So here it is!!! Snarky mom-You were completely one hudred percent without a doubt acting like a child and were WRONG in this situation. I think it's time for a certain someone to get over themselves and it sure aint me!
    Ashley from New Berlin

  6. Yay for first amendment rights! Regardless of if you agree or disagree, the fact remains that this is THE SNARKY MOM blog. She can say whatever she wants, when she wants. It's HER blog. I'm sure there are behind the scene things that we, as mere readers, don't know about. Maybe she did try and talk to the teacher and was not met with a helpful attitude. Maybe her daughter will have the memory of that day etched in her brain for a long time and not want to attend school. There are a lot of maybes to the situation, and our job is not to judge.

    I have to agree with several commenters, if you don't like what you read, then don't stop by the blog any more. Move on. Find something else to take up your time, because obviously, this is not the place for you.

  7. Hey Anonymous,

    "Poor a glass of wine?" Maybe you should check your grammar before you post. If your original comment made me think you were an idiot, this one left no doubt.

    Also, she said she didn't apologize for thinking what she thought She just had the guts to write it down. No one should have to apologize for what they feel and think.

  8. Dana,

    I am so sorry my lack to spell check (thank you auto correct) before posting confused you. Should I go ahead and re-write that so you wont have to think so hard about it the next time you browse through?
    It's unfortunate that you would call someone an idiot due to a minor spelling mistake which millions of people make multiple times through out the course of their life. If that makes a person an idiot, well then I guess that's the pot calling the kettle black. If that is the only thing you can find to criticize me for, I'll take. It most definitely wont be the last time I will spell a word incorrectly.
    My comment regarding her not appologizing was pointing out your incorrect statement of "At least she had the guts to apologize and call herself out on this topic."....right, she didn't appologize, you probably should have double checked that before posting. But alas, I will not resort to doing juvinile things, such as calling you names. I as well, don't apologize for anything I have said thus far and feel that I should, as well, be commended by you for having the guts to say how I am feeling.
    Thanks in advance! You being such an advocate of free expression, I am sure can appreciate my ability to outwardly express my feelings.