Thursday, January 19, 2012

PMS and Fleece: Happy Birthday JDub!

Dear What Not To Wear AND the makers of Midol:

I'd like to introduce you to my friend JDub. This is JDub:

"Shut it DOWN."

This is from last spring when we took a digital photography class. This is her typical outfit: fleece. But her other friends and I know that this fuchsia fleece, while colorful and warm, is not her favorite. Her favorite is a thinning light bluish grey fleece. The carbon dating isn't back yet, but we think it's from the Jurassic Period.

Now, to say that JDub has a favorite fleece is kind of like saying she has a favorite kid: she loves them all equally but for different reasons. It's a little reminiscent of Monica on Friends with her towels: JDub has her dressy fleece, her painting fleece, her 2nd layer fleece (this is a fleece that is big enough to go over another fleece), her black-tie fleece, her work fleece, and her summer fleece.

I once went clothes shopping with JDub. It was in the top three of traumatic events in my life. She liked nothing. For five hours. I would have hung myself by a dressing room rod, but she didn't want to stay at one store. Oh no. We had to traipse around West Towne Mall so she could share her joy of fashion and clothing open-mindedness with other retail locations.

I have not been shopping with her since.

However, the other day she called so I could do some online shopping with her, since I was laid up. I should have known. Even technology couldn't save me. Nothing online was working for her either, and when I asked to describe what she wanted, here's what she said, "I want cute kid's clothes in my size."

Oh Stacy and Clinton...I've got a live one for you!

All joking aside, JDub is a fantastic person and a great, yet bitchy, friend. (Although, one could say she's not as bitchy as me! And lots of "ones" have.) She is super woman at home, work, and church (for real...she's just the girl that can't say no). Her idiosyncrasies (including, but not limited to, changing her home color scheme and being seduced by Sherwin Williams, serving a healthy repertoire of dinner such as sandwiches, chili, or pizza, PMS so bad the television channels have warning for it like school closings, and well, we've already covered the fleeces) only make her crazier more lovable.

Happy birthday JDub! You make senior citizenry something to look forward to. ;)