Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Frankenfoot

So you know that drawing I did last week of my foot?

Let me remind you:

I was a little off.

It's not my fault. As is hospital protocol, I was not allowed to be awake during surgery. I only drew for you what was told to me before my surgery.

And from what I'm learning, surgery and improv have a lot in common.

I had a doctor's appointment last week to follow up on my surgery. First was x-rays and the very funny x-ray lady cut my temporary cast off. She had me lay down and sit up slowly before I saw my foot.

(In full disclosure, I did tell her a story of when I had knee surgery with only 3 staples and passed out when I took off the bandages to shower. I hit the ceramic tile like a wet towel. I'm sure telling her this story alerted her that I could be a liability at her office.)

It looked a little differently than I thought it would. I really did think it would look something similar to my picture, minus the interior art I drew for you.

(My favorite part of this picture is that the trash can in the x-ray room is labeled. Awesomesauce!)
It wasn't. At all. I used to call my foot the Frankenfoot because it was so grossly deformed. Now, its the Frankenfoot because it looks like it was pieced together at the morgue and slapped on my ankle.

The amount of stitches (39) was the first surprise. The second surprise was the x-ray. Remember, I thought I only had 1 screw. I learned that the reason the inside of my foot was field dressed was because they put in FIVE screws. And a metal plate. And some army guys and someone's keys and one of those hearts from Build a Bear workshop.

I then went from the x-ray room to the cast room where my stitches were removed (and Disgruntled Husband left to go admire the waiting room artwork before he became a patient too) and my real cast put on.

The guy that did my cast, Dr. Dan, was super funny and interesting...and competitive and artistic. I told him of my friend Jenny that recently broke her wrist (don't text and Target...) and that she had a cast. He took it as a personal challenge, telling me that my cast would blow her cast out of the water. (I never saw Jenny's cast...she lives 3 hours away. Not that this mattered to Dr. Dan.) With quite a bit of deliberation, we decided on colors and patterns.

Here's Dr. Dan's artwork:

For Valentine's Day, ya know!
Please, try to contain your jealousy.At least I have something pretty to look at for the next 4 weeks.

In other news, I am addicted to Amazon and thank my lucky stars they invented their Prime program. UPS dude has been here every day this week. Today's delivery was a set of I can at least try not to get any fatter while I'm on my ass until spring.

(But yesterday's delivery was candy, so maybe not.)

I have 4 weeks and 6 days remaining. Not that I'm counting.


  1. That cast is hot, little mama! I'm actually a little jealous. Maybe I could find socks in a similar pattern... :)

  2. I had a similar size cast one summer in Washington DC (the heat and humidity were the added bonus) - except mine was bright yellow. As if Clifford the big red dog peed on it. In my defense, I was on painkillers when I chose it. Yours is way cooler.

  3. I love that pink cast! The mister and I are currently on a free trial of Amazon prime and completely addicted to streaming TV shoes. All the best for your healing!