My Mommy, the Drag Queen

A few weeks before Halloween, I was in Sephora (shocking) and made an impulse purchase.

(Let's not tell Disgruntled Husband that an "impulse" purchase at Sephora is about $15.)

These:



They're called Violent Lips and here's the website where you can get them (as well as Sephora).

The concept is pretty cool. You know those tattoos your kids get with valentines or trips to the dentist or pretty much everywhere? Same concept, but for Mommy.

I originally bought them for my college reunion to wear out to the bars, but couldn't find a pair of scissors at the hotel. So Halloween was the natural time to wear these.

Monday morning, I put them on. I should also note that they were the only thing costume-y I decided to wear.

I decided that the name of my costume was "Small Town Drag Queen."

Mini Me loved them. She asked if I would wear them to her class Halloween party. (She also asked if she could wear some, too. The answer was no on that one.)

Of course I'd wear them to her class.

At 1, I got in the van and went to school. When I got out of the car, I saw one of the families of a boy in MM's class that I've known for awhile. No comment on my lips, just a weird look and normal conversation.

When I signed into the office, no one batted an eye.

When I stopped into Hoover's class on my way to MM's classroom, his teacher just started talking to me like normal.

It was then I realized no one thought I was wearing a costume. They all assumed I'd finally gone off my rocker and showed up to school like this.

(It's also when I told Hoover's teacher that it was a Halloween thing, and I also told the mom of the other family that, too.)

As confident as I am, I couldn't pull of my red glitter drag queen lips. On Halloween.

I quickly began to regret my decision to wear them.

I did the whole classroom party with the lips on. And the cape of humiliation. All for my daughter who thought I was beautiful.

I came home and got a good look in the mirror. How could people NOT know I was in Halloween mode? They were all too polite to ask me.

Like when you see a woman who could be pregnant, but you don't say anything just in case she isn't.

To the people at my children's school: I like make-up and all, but glitter lip tattoos are not part of my everyday beauty routine.

In case you wanted to ask me about it.