(You like that sentence? I was an English major. Obviously, I'm doing well.)
I scoured the internet for the perfect thing.
(What? You don't get all excited when they start having the Bethlehem Lights people on and the deal of the day is the fresh wreath delivered your choice of weeks?:::I've said too much.:::)
Most of the people commented with assorted alcohol and chocolate products, as well as spa treatments.
I decided to go a different route.
The route that left me with these:
They hurt even as you read this. You can't see it, but my nails are actually split beyond the quick. They are still prune-y and yet, dry, and I'm definitely in pain.
All because my awesome idea to spend $100 on was....a new tiled back splash for my kitchen.
I started with the adhesive/thin set. On the box, it said basically that any use of the product will kill you and your pets, and "this has been proved to cause cancer in California."
I'm in Wisconsin, so I'm in the clear.
Here's a before:
How embarrassing (for my mother). The copper saying, ironically, says " A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen."
I'm cruising along, thinking of tiling my bedroom its so easy. Disgruntled Husband stopped at Home Depot for me to get some beige grout to finish it all off.
Not only are all the same warnings on this box, but now my cat Clark is trying to eat the little pieces that drop.
I grout everything and have to wait like 20 minutes to wipe it all off.
Hey, did you catch Modern Family last night? I did. And what about Happy Endings? Love that show...watched that, too. Then I switched the station to watch the new Extreme Couponing on TLC. (What can I say, I have varied interests.)
Then I went back to work on the grout.
Everything was hard as a rock and the sponge that was supposed to take it right off was laughing at me. I started going tile by tile scrubbing the grout off with a dishtowel.
There are a lot of tiles.
|This is before the grouting and the waiting, and the suicide watching.|
A sponge with a scrubby thing on the back.
So what was only supposed to take 10 minutes, that was going to take 16 hours, ended up only taking an hour.
(Can you follow all that?)
And what is the finished product? Well, I don't know.
Apparently, when you tile, you spend the next 2 weeks buffing off residue. But here's what it looks like right now:
I can say that a lipstick or a wreath wouldn't leave me with such a sense of accomplishment.
I'd be okay with that. And my manicurist would still return my calls.
Please, learn from me. Next time you want to go to Home Depot and do a project, go to Sephora instead. Trust me.