I am touched.

Many wonderful thanks to the many of you that reached out and touched someone gave me your kind words. I have some guest bloggers in the works for your reading enjoyment while I try to navigate through this bumpy time.

Speaking of which, I thought it was a little uncool of me to just leave you all out there hanging in mystery as to what is going on. And, as usual, I may have been a little more dramatic than necessary.

My son Hoover is having a tough time.

Hoover is in first grade and refuses to do his work. So, he spends 8 hours a day, minus lunch, playing with his shirt, his folder, his face, the carpet, anything to not do the work he is expected to do.

But it's not only that.

He also says he hates school. Which is why he's not doing anything. He's very sad about going to school, being in school, working in school and pretty much anything else school-related.

The other day, he cut the eraser off his pencil and started carving into the brand new tables in his classroom.

When your 6 year-old starts making prison shivs in his spare time, it's time to do something.

I am getting daily, or every-other-daily calls and emails from his teacher, a friend of mine, who may read this blog from time to time. And I know she's frustrated too.

This summer, we took him to see a few doctors, and they said he had ADHD with anxiety. But that was this summer.

We're dealing with a whole new animal. And acronym, probably.

Today, I took him out of school to see another doctor. He was so excited he got to leave school early, he didn't once ask me what kind of doctor we were seeing and if he'd be getting any shots.

He did ask me five times, however, if he had to go back to school.

And now, we have some Ritalin, but no more answers than when we left for the doctors.

I never thought I'd be the parent to rely on Ritalin. But here we are, and suddenly, I'm feeling very guilty for passing silent judgement on those moms who give their kids Ritalin. I think I get it now.



This doesn't sound like a lot, I'm sure. But it's really taking up a lot of valuable mental real estate. And that stuff goes for a premium these days.

For example, why does no punishment motivate him? Why does no reward motivate him? Why isn't he happy at school? Is there something I could be doing to help him that I'm not? Is it because he's the middle child? Larry Potter's younger brother? Have I not given him enough attention? Too much?

Last year, I asked his kindergarten teacher if Hoover was somewhere on the autism spectrum.

"No, but I can understand why you'd think that."

And if he is, we'll deal with it. And if he's not, we'll deal with it. Though the doctors we've seen all say he's way too social to be autistic. And in a very sick way, I'm disappointed because at least that's something I can research and name.

I'm trying to find answers and not coming up with any.

And I know I should count my blessings. My kids, all of them, are healthy. There are parents in this world, country, state, community, faced with either losing a child or already have. I know people who have and wonder how they go on in life, while feeling silly that I'm whining about such a seemingly insignificant problem.

But even knowing that, I can't always keep it in perspective.

And my son is struggling and not happy, and has anxiety and is only 6.

And I can't fix it.

That's where I'm at today.