Tuesday, August 9, 2011

E-mail and Your Employees: How NOT to do it.

While I was going through my own personal tragedy-turned-victory in employment and the Blaze of Glory happened, my friend JDub was experiencing her own adventures in employment.

A little background on JDub. (Scroll to the bottom...refresh your memory.) She's been working at a law office for the past two years, for an attorney that Disgruntled Husband has less-than-stellar things to say about. She took the part-time job right before her other best friend was fired from the same place.

In the beginning, she was able to work around when her youngest was in pre-school and eventually, 4-K. Not a lot of hours...like maybe nine a week...but enough to subsidize her 5 a.m. bootcamp classes and her family's addiction to premium peanut butter. This spring, she upped her hours to three full days a week for the summer. Even finding a daycare for her youngest, something that she had never done before.

Now, her boss isn't the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. (We're just going to call her BF...short for Bitch-Face.) BF has lost a few great assistants over the years because of her ineptitude in keeping her employees happy. (One lady JDub told me about went from running BF's office to working third-shift doing hotel housekeeping, if that's any indication of how desperate that lady was to get out of there.)

I could go into the long working history of JDub and BF, but as much as my eyes glaze over thinking about it, they would absolutely close into a coma if I attempted to cite every dumb thing BF did. JDub is a very patient person.

About the time I put an ad up on Craiglist for DH's office assistant, I saw that BF also had an ad up for a similar position. I called JDub, who knew nothing about it. Since the other assistant at the office was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, we thought maybe it was to prepare for this.

BF is no Elle Woods. I don't even think she's as smart as the dog.

Fast forward to the end of July, when BF hires someone for 30 hours a week. JDub goes into BF's office and asks what is going on, and has to remind BF that she (JDub) has been working 20-25 hours a week this summer, and it would be continuing into the school year.

BF said she forgot that JDub worked those hours and confided in her that she didn't know what to do because she had just hired this girl. Maybe, BF said, she would just have to call the new person and rescind the offer.

And then she went on a two week vacation. (Because apparently, making poor business decisions and forgetting you have employees is very straining.)

So for two weeks, JDub went to work and did her thing, all while wondering and speculating if BF would hire the new girl for real. While BF makes an elephant turd look intelligent, JDub is smart and perceptive. She saw the writing on the wall, and starting mailing off resumes. Just in case. She had also said that she wasn't going to stick around to train this new person to do her job.

BF came back Thursday. Nothing. Friday. Nothing. Then yesterday, JDub receives an e-mail.

BF let her go in an e-mail. Because, "You weren't coming in today." JDub hasn't come in on a Monday since April. But that sort of information could be taxing to remember.

And, in the e-mail, BF says the last day of employment will be in two weeks.

JDub wrote back and said, uh no, the last day was last Thursday.

(She's a lot nicer than I am. Because my email back would have a few choice words. And a Trojan virus. Firing over e-mail, indeed.)

(I also told JDub it was time for the Craigslist ad with BF's office phone number looking for people to delouse the office or in need of a male exotic dancer, apply in person. But she put the brakes on both of those ideas.)

It's all right BF, you'll get yours in the form of a Celestial Suggestion. I'm thinking some sort of IRS audit and an STD she won't be able to explain to her husband. But I'll leave the final decision up to God.

Maybe He'll send her an email.

1 comment:

  1. You put a very positive spin on things just calling her Bitch Face. And if you want to hear other less-than-stellar things about her, her [former] clients know best.