Day One

Yesterday afternoon, it became Black Tuesday.

My kids were released from school and sent home to me for the summer, where they will surely get dumber before they go back to school in 85 days.

But who's counting?

The first complaint of the summer (well, mine) is all the last day of school stuff that explodes on my kitchen table and living room. Papers. Half-used crayons. "Safety" scissors. Glue sticks.

And it's not enough that it explodes, but it mushroom clouds over the entire house. Before I went to bed, I had whittled down the Haz Mat area to a manageable pile. This morning, I found Hoover coloring with marker in the upstairs hallway, Mini Me covered in purple glue stick, and Larry Potter cheating on the Sudoku (with yesterday's paper) with a half-dried out blue dry erase marker.

Two ever-present thoughts: I need to get up earlier and the school supplies need to meet garbage day, which is tomorrow.

I say we slip a Benadryl into Mom's coffee and then take over the world. As long as we're quiet and not making a mess, she'll be cool with it. 

And just in the span of the last 90 minutes, I've broken up two fights, removed a fat tick from behind LP's ear, gave haircuts to the boys, nicked Hoover's ear (ever try to band-aid an ear?), picked up four shirts that were laying on the deck next to the kiddie pool (I have three kids...why are there FOUR shirts?), and negotiated the great colored bowl breakfast battle of '11.

Now my coffee is cold and unfinished. I was thinking of replacing it with Chardonnay anyway. What? You've never had a brunch with Sangria?

Before yesterday happened, I tried like the Dickens to get the house and refrigerator ready. I'm about all caught up on laundry and at least one bathroom has been cleaned. The fridge was stocked until we realized that 16 yogurts and 48 string cheeses would only last until yesterday exactly.

I tried to prepare not so my house would be neat and the clothes clean and the fridge ready for the kids, but because I know I'm not going to have a chance to do it all again until September 1.

Somebody, please, drop off some scheduling tips and inspiration to my house. Otherwise, it's going to be a lot like Lord of Flies and we just don't need to give LP that kind of power.

(By the way, in case you were wondering, the air condition magically fixed itself. So whomever came over and fixed it in the middle of the night, props to you, dude.)