Friday, April 1, 2011

Name and Date

Okay, even as snarky as I am, I can't let nice, honest people congratulate me on something that isn't real.

Yes, I did receive those coupons in the mail.

No, I am not pregnant. In fact, the only thing I'm expecting is an estimate on the not-so-mini-van.

Here's the story:

Yesterday, I got the mail and saw that I received something from Gerber. I opened it up and saw the checks and some coupons and all the first-time mom literature one receives before or after your baby is born.

New moms eat this shit up. Old moms call the 800 number and harass the staff.

Because Mini-Me is rounding the corner to her fourth birthday, I am curious how I got on this list. So, I call the number on the front of the envelope.

I explain to the very nice lady (she sounded like some one's grandma) that my youngest child is almost four and doesn't use formula (in case she was confused). She laughed and said, "Well, let's take a look."

With my customer number, she was able to find me on her list.

"Well, Jessica, our database says you had a baby on December 20, 2010."


We both get a good chuckle out of it.

"It was the easiest pregnancy I've ever had," I said.

"I bet the delivery was a snap, too," she said. (I wish I had gotten her name. She was a hoot!)

My name and mis-information came from a third-party source, so she couldn't tell who originated the lie. But, she said she'd take me off the list and I could pass the coupons to whomever needed them.

So, on behalf of me and my fake-yet-real-to-Gerber 3 month old...APRIL FOOL!

1 comment:

  1. LOL that cracked me up. I wondered how we get on those lists, too, but I haven't gotten any new ones yet... we'll see if they lie about me too someday!