Thursday, March 31, 2011

Teacher Appreciation Week

This is the time of year that teachers look forward to, and parents sweat profusely: Spring Break.

My kids have had this whole week off, and aside from Monday through Tuesday at noon, they have been with me every single moment. I think the school celebrates Teacher Appreciation Week in May, but I think it's secretly this week, because boy do I miss and appreciate the teachers that take teach my kids each day.

Spring Break is just a warning. An eight week warning that I am not prepared to have them all summer long. Here's our week so far.

Day 1 of Spring Break: The kids are at my mom's house because I'm too sick to care for them adequately. I think that's why she took them. It's either to give me a break or to pump them for information. I have a feeling it's both reasons.

Day 2 of Spring Break: Kids come home at noon, beg for lunch. I give them PB&Js with milk and oranges. Anthony Bordain shows up in the form of Larry Potter, critiquing my choice of lunch. Two kids eat their sandwiches, but yet the first time I'm in the bathroom in the afternoon, a box of Little Debbie snacks and two boxes of Girl Scout cookies disappear. And that's at 12:30 p.m. By the time Disgruntled Husband comes home, they've eaten through $50 of groceries.

After we eat this, we're going to have a death match in the living room and then hold up a convenience store for their Hostess treats. Happy Spring Break, Mom.

Day 3 of Spring Break: Mini Me comes to me with pieces of a teddy bear, telling me that LP ripped it up. I have him bring me the rest, and he comes with a mixing bowl of fabric, stuffing, and assorted Care Bear parts, as well as a pair of manicure scissors. I ask MM what his punishment should be. "Give him away. Let him be with God in Heaven." Great, now I have to worry about at least two of my kids ending up serial murderers. She settles for letting LP clean her room. He trips and does a faceplant on the wood floors and ends up at the doctors because the scratch he got becomes red, warm, and swollen. Three kids at the doctor's office, and I swing by Value Liquor on my way home from getting the antibiotic.

Day 4 of Spring Break: It's only noon and my house looks like a before shot from Hoarders, even though I just cleaned it Tuesday morning. While writing the blog, LP comes down and informs me that there's water all over the floor of the bathroom. Cleaned that up, threatened children, and found out that Hoover poured water on the bathmat because he was bored. Looking forward to informing Tom Colicchio that PB&J is again on the menu. No oranges because they've eaten all of those. I did hear mention that Hoover tried to eat a cup full of sprinkles this morning, but he must have cleaned it up himself. Surprisingly, I'm okay with that one.

Day 5 of Spring Break: Hasn't happened yet, but I know it's going to involve watching my friend's son and a birthday "party" for our cat Clark, as it's his 1st birthday. No, I'm not *that* person, but I'm running out of things to do with my kids, and figure that's a good distraction. For us all. Clark likes Chardonnay, after all.

Mrs. G., Mrs. C., and Mrs. M., I miss you all. I can't wait to send my kids to you next week.


  1. I teach in at a low-income school where teacher appreciation day is not even talked about anyone - parents, teachers, or students. So that one week in the spring? Priceless.

    Love your blog. Totally made me laugh (during my too-short lunch break).

  2. Emily, I appreciate you! Even though you're in Phoenix and I'm in Wisconsin, and not any of my kids' teachers. I appreciate you because you are out there teaching. I knew enough to NOT be a teacher...because I would be truly horrible at it. So, on behalf of my ever-mounting problem with alcohol (which is totally dependent on the amount of time my kids have been out of school), I raise my wine glass to you!