Real Housewives - False advertising

Dear "Real" Housewives,

I don't care what city you're in; you're all the same. Your shows are the modern-day equivalent of  "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" when combined with the movie "Mean Girls."

Sure, I love your shows, some more than others. I just never could get into Atlanta, but the rest I would watch. Until Beverly Hills, I had a few ounces of respect for the creators of the franchise. But when I realized there was nothing real about the BH housewives, my respect for you plummeted to somewhere between childhood bullies and the houses that hand out apples at Halloween.

The problem I have with RH is that they just aren't real. It's false advertising. Though I love NJ housewives, none of my friends have ever flipped a table at a restaurant. Or hang out with someone we consider deplorable. I get it, you're in it for the money. But I think the money would be better if you kept it real.

Here's my idea for your newest location: Wisconsin Town. The Real Housewives of Wisconsin Town, coming to a Bravo station near you. The cast of characters would be me, friends J-Dub and B, and two other people we like.

What would we see? Howabout how it all gets done. J-Dub lives between two towns, and yet drives back and forth between one town and her house for, no joke, 4 times a day. And that's just for school. There's also basketball games, gymnastics, a dying incontinent dog, and a husband that works so much, we joke that he's having an affair with his computer. Or B, opening a store the week she finds out she's pregnant with her 4th child, not taking a salary from the business just so she can keep it open. Or me, figuring out how to feed a growing family of 5 with a food budget of $100 for two weeks, most, if not all, made from scratch.

Lets see the "Real" Housewives do that.

Instead of fancy cars, townhomes, and designer clothes, we have econovans with almost 300,000 miles on them, old drafty houses with leaky roofs and dishwasher issues, and Lands End fleeces in every color - even a "dressy" fleece.

Ferragamo be damned. We have Crocs. Suck on that, Countess.

Let me show you the proper way to clean up cat yak.

Some will say the RH franchise provide entertainment. No argument there, but I don't like entertainment that makes me pop a Xanax for the reunion show. My favorite people from each city are Bethanny, Vicki, Jacqueline, Mary, and Adrienne. Did ya catch all that, Bravo? Those would be the least confrontational ladies on each show.

I dare you to come out and film the antithesis of your Real Housewives. We could even have a Housewife throw down, a la Bobby Flay. I'd love to see Theresa from NJ get ready in 10 minutes because a child has failed to say that it was her day to bring snack. Have Alex from NY come on over and we'll vacuum my stairs, points for not stepping on the cats and going around the toys on the landing. Michaele from DC and I can compete seeing which of us can get the kids ready for Grandma's visit, while making three PB and Js and scrubbing the toilet. I dare you.

There's nothing real about your housewives, Bravo, and you either need to change the name of the show, or come on out to Wisconsin Town to see just real the housewives here are.

Sincerely,
The Snarky Mom