Moms in Distress

Sometimes the only thing mom- in-distress can do is call out to other moms-in -stress. Misery may love company, but I think some of us just want to hear validation that we're normal moms. This validation often comes from my friends' children and what they do while they are on the phone.

Today is Friday. The rest of the world is looking forward to a weekend after a hard work week. I'm looking forward to a weekend so I can finally kick this plague without leaving a 3rd grader in charge of the other kids.

School was called off for today. (See yesterday's post here.) And that's fine. But I'm still not over Strep, the sinus infections, the swollen glands, and apparently a small touch of tonsillitis. And there are 3 kids in my house. Because I've pretty much been out of commission the whole work week, there is very little in the way of "easy" foods, clean dishes, or clear paths to-and-from vital areas in my house. I've had worse weeks as a mom, but not many.

So, I do what any red-blooded American mom would do. I call my friend. And she's having a worse week than I am.

This jingle was chosen because "Chardonnay, Take me Away" was thought to be too offensive.

J's husband is out-of-town, scheduled to come home tonight, after a family funeral 1,000 miles away. She has 4 kids, two of which are normally in school. Except they have today off, and a half-day yesterday. Did I mention she's also 34 weeks pregnant, supposed to be on modified bed rest, getting fun shots in her rear once-a-week and contracting?

Moms aren't supposed to compete, but she wins. Hands down.

So today's conversation had a formula to it: talk about a topic for 1 minute, yell at kid for 45 seconds, talk about topic for another 30 seconds, yell at kid for a minute, talk about yelling at kid for 3 minutes, yell at kid for 30 seconds...

The phrases said today?

"It is not time to throw chairs right now."
"Painting your nails is about the last thing on my to-do list."
"Get out of the dryer!"
"You do NOT end an argument by SNEEZING on your sister!"
"Calgon!"

(That last one was J and I, together.)

Dear Oprah, Rachael Ray, Ellen, or any other talk show host willing to send stressed out moms on vacation: We're ready. We'll pay it forward by not being total Bs at home to our husbands and kids. But for the Love Of God, please send us somewhere.